I could sit around asking what the meaning of life is After the loss of a mother to breast cancer 4 years ago and the recent loss of a father to prostate cancer barely 3 weeks ago. I could sit and ask, really and truly, WHAT IS THE MEANING OF LIFE? .
I believe We grieve because we realise we have lost someone and something we can never get back. We cry not because of yesterday but because of tomorrow. How do you say goodbye to someone you have known your entire existence. Howdo you go forward thinking of a life once planned with them playng active roles. Wher e do you even begin reconstructing new patterns of thinking. Where o where do you begin to end?
I can blame life for the pain in which case i would also have to blame choices, people, lifestyles, systems, protocols and processes. I can blame a great many people until i finally bring it home and blame MYSELF. Why wasnt i there enough? Why didnt i do enough? Why didnt i fight enough? Why didnt i say i love you enough? I should feel guilty enough about all the things i should have done and destroy my happiness for tomorrow because i feel guilty enough to stop living while i am alive.
You see, Life is a very many things, endless isnt one of them and the thing about pain and grief that i have come to understand is that at every stage both before and after you deal with emotions such as anger, regret, remorse, uncertainty, pessimism, cynicism, short term memory loss, several dark phases, emotionality of various kinds, and all sorts but the one place you seem to end up at is GRATITUDE.
True healing begins with GRATITUDE. When you stop to regret the things you didnt do and start to appreciate the little things you did do right. We forget that we DONT have to do anything. Kindness, listening, loving, caring. ....... Are all constant choices we make. To us doing them might be mechanical because we are use to it but to those we show love to, care for or help, we just have no idea how much what we do or give means.
We cannot change the past neither can we live in it but we can be gracious enough to embrace the time we shared, gave, utilized and have,memories because of.
I wouldnt lie to myself or you by saying the memories arent going to be painful. I wouldnt try to deceive you into thinking it is a smooth and bumpless road. I wouldnt even tell you time would heal your wounds or mend your broken heart. I would however tell you that gratitude is the only thing i have experienced that lightens my load and helps me get out of bed in the morning with a smile. Gratitude trumps remorse. It reminds you to enjoy this fleeting life. It encourages you to do better than you did last time and it gives you the grace to be different.
If we dont question God when good things happen, why then would we question him when the bad things do. If we dont award ourselves when good things happen, why would we chastize ourselves when bad things do.
