.jpg)
Lonely Shadows
When you
hear the words ‘Lonely shadows’, you tend to think “DUH”…lol I am not speaking in literal terms.
A lonely
shadow for me, refers to a state of mind or being where you are surrounded by
people, emotions, fears, visions, optimisms and actions yet to be taken that
you do not speak not because you have nothing to say but because you fear no
one would ever understand.
I tried to
figure out why is it that we always feel like we can never say words people
will understand or perhaps appreciate? Is the human emotion so scary that fear
of rejection, misunderstanding or misgiving are so powerful that we feel like
we have no other choice but to feel alone in the midst of many?
The truth I came
to discover is, not everyone understands what you are going through. Not everyone
cares, not everyone will be there to comfort you and not everyone is sad you
are where you are, faced with the challenges you are faced with. We realize
that deep down inside, we are indeed
alone.
People may sympathize, people may genuinely be
apologetic for your situation but their smiles and laughs would still be more easily
accessible than yours would. Your tears would be more readily available than
theirs and your open eyes would still be the only thing separating your
conscious from your subconscious when you lay in bed at night.
Though our fears
are not without cause, there is an undeniable relief that comes from saying
some words… even if not all.
You see,
initially when you are silent, you feel the world is caving in and fear no one
would find your body under the ruble until it is too late.
When you
eventually speak out, you feel relief that someone knows something and you don’t
have to force a smile in the midst of tears or worry about keeping a straight face
when all you want to do is breakdown and scream from all the pain.
Then you
soon realize speaking out has its own baggage. The incessant calls, people always
checking up on you thereby reminding you of moments in your life where you
would either rather forget or would like to temporarily avoid.
It is
usually at that point you are grateful for people who listen but don’t speak,
who hear and then wait. Who allow you live your life without being dragged down
by matters beyond your control. You then realize that some people can be your shadow.
They exist
to remind you about the joys of living, they help you enjoy the little moments
of bliss that exist even in the midst of pain. Those people, like silent
partners, let you walk ahead with the knowledge that if you need to collapse,
faint or throw your head back, they’d be there to catch you and support you.
Lonely
shadows, a term I believe describes the darkest point in one’s life where you are
holding on to your sanity, bliss or happiness in strips. That moment where the
darkness is upon you but somewhere deep down inside, you realize even shadows
need a bit of light to be acknowledged.
Lonely
shadows, that moment where you realize even though your life, emotions or
circumstances are dark, there is always a glimmer of light somewhere that
encourages you to embrace seconds of laughter, seconds of love, seconds of
caring that give you that extra ounce of strength you need to go one step further.
Lonely shadows,
anyone who is there for you when all you need is silence and a friendly
shoulder to cry on.
Lonely
shadows … who is your lonely shadow?
